Aum

 I was going pretty deep into the dharma, but recently I have had some significant changes to my direction. It appears that I did not fully move into the spiritual level of communion with the Holy Ghost. I don't think I fully personally committed to it because I was still attached to large portions of my personal selfish way of doing things. I wasn't aware enough of this to realize what I have been seeing over the last week. I think a good way of describing it is saying that I am still engrained in doing things my own way. In order to move forward fully, one has to turn the way they do things from their own way, to the way that arises when they decide to give their up their own ambition for a life of serving God. You can see why there may not be a huge appeal for this, for those of us who are so independent and taught to figure things out ourselves, to take care of things ourselves, and live for ourselves. Why would you give this up? From my current perspective, this self-centered and self-driven way of being that is so Western and feels masculine to me, is really blind to a bigger picture of the Universe.

Real satisfaction cannot come from satisfying the desire of our ego. The ego is a part of who we are, but not all of who we are. It is not through the ego, but through the soul that we merge with the infinite. Our lives cannot truly be fulfilled by selfish gain, personal gain, or Earthly acquisitions. The essence of who we are can only be satisfied by returning to God and fully merging with Him. Now I know this to be true, and I feel bad for people who do not see this. This isn't about what you know, but about how you choose to live. Unfortunately, we are taught it is good to be so independent and self-centered. We are not taught that we have a soul and that only it can bring us happiness. I have spent so much time coming to this conclusion, something so simple, yet so out of reach in a world where selfishness is paramount. It is laughable to think that the Godless mainstream Western mindset could bring peace or health. Our technology and material science, our morality and liberal views without God only scratch in the dark. God is the pillar that sustains everything. Without God, we cannot be wise, and we cannot take care of ourselves. 

I don't mean to be spiteful, I just am shocked how blind humanity at large has become to the basic principles of existence, to the fact that God is the principal determinant law and force of nature. I am shocked at the principles that people live by, putting material and selfish gain over the care of their souls. Believing this will save them. People turn gray as their souls starve. They physically shrink and become weak. We become hungry wolves and demons that feed off each other. The breath of life is GOD! Is is by His power that we are sustained. We have become so arrogant in our confidence in our own intelligence, we forget our place as secondary to Him, where all we have comes from Him. 

We cannot escape hellish suffering and finding lasting peace in liberation until we acknowledge this and choose to give up our self-centeredness for a life of soulful God-centered communion. We do this, because we recognize that we live in Hell and find ourselves to be insane among the insane. We recognize that their is a way out, but we must change permanently, give up our lives permanently to tread it. I understood this, but it did not penetrate into the core of my heart. I did not change enough. Now I believe, I may finally see the way, I think I am ready to change. 

The first part of the path is communion with Aum, the Holy Ghost. It is the vibrating intelligence of God that creates the Universe and through it we may pass through the Universe and embrace God. It is an aspect of God. I firmly believe this is the way forward. It is a purifying force, a soul revivifying force. Through communion with Aum, we shed the mantle of Worldly consciousness and take on the mantle of Soul-centered living. We really have to give up selfishness. In all ways. This is the only way forward.  

Through Aum, we become God-inspired and God driven. We elevate our consciousness and cultivate our faith and relationship with God and the spiritual universe. We cultivate belief in the spiritual reality of things and of our ability to successfully abide by these laws.